The day had come round with me feeling okay, unusually I had slept like the dead on the preceding nights and even managed a nana nap on Thursday afternoon after stuffing my face on unlimited salad and pizza at pizza hut.
I enjoyed Friday waiting to go, an early registration meant there was nothing to do all day except eat, snooze and faff (perfect). My Mum came along to the start with my girls and as I was running in a pair with Liz her husband Wayne had brought their youngest daughter to see us off. Usual running partner Sue was around to keep us sane, with the added bonus of her 11 week old baby Evie - they would both be waiting for us at Buttermere CP where they were spending the night marshaling.
The start was as all starts are, an eternity of waiting until you finally eek forwards through the crowds, and out on to the fell. For me the late start, heading off towards sunset was amazing, and the view from the top of Walna Scar breath taking, a perfect clear evening looking over to the Scafell mountains with Mickledore looking so close you felt you could reach over and touch it. Once through Seathwaite we headed back up to Grassguards with its dive bombing midges and the impossibility of dry feet through the bog. Starting the descent to Boot I turned to be treated to Harter Fell pretending to be Ayres Rock and shimmering red in the sunset - I suddenly wished I had a camera.
Once darkness fell I could only continue to be stunned by the night time Lake District, watching the moon shimmer across Burnmore Tarn - I guess if I'm honest I would have like to have been running more but I made myself not stress too much about time and take in my surroundings.
Arriving at the Stroller Disco was ... well ... a bit like arriving a a nightclub just after closing! I'm sure when its busy its brilliant but at the back of the field the sudden arrival to lights and 10 marshals asking questions it was mostly overwhelming. I think we were both glad to be out of there and heading up Blacksail Pass.
It was on this ascent that I finally admitted something I had known since Seathwaite - we were going to be stopping at Buttermere. We would either time out on this section or we would be so close to the cut off it would not be worth carrying on. It was funny, once I openly let the thought in to my head and rolled it about a bit I was fairly accepting. I wondered if Liz knew, I decided this ascent was not the place for such a conversation, plus I was distracted by projectile vomiting my Stroller coffee in to the bracken without warning. As far as ascents go, its a lovely one, you could see the lights of those further ahead which acted as a nice motivator to keep pottering upwards, its almost disappointing when you get to the top as the descent is a total nightmare - suddenly out of the darkness Liz said "why don't you go" - I'm momentarily confused thinking "go where" - "I'm not feeling well" she says, "I'm not sure I can carry on, I think you should know". I know that I can't leave her here, I rummage about in my head to see if I mind - I don't (phew). I'm fairly clear with her that I cant leave her here by herself and we carry on.
Being honest though, until she says it, I haven't thought it, but once it's said its there in my head - I can't go yet but would I? We have a cathartic girly chat over Scarth Gap - boys, jobs, it reminds me of teenage drunken nights in club toilets. I'm aware that the setting might be different but i'm slightly amused to realise i'm still wearing a miniskirt with shorts underneath, and trainers.
Once we are through the worst of Scarth Gap descent Liz says repeatedly for me to go and make the cut off - she will retire at Buttermere. I'd like to say it took her a lot of persuasion but it didn't, we have a tearful hug and I set off running, stopping and turning once before flying along the lake passing other runners all the way. I burst in to the CP sobbing and am immediately shoved in a cupboard by Sue - one hotdog and a good talking to later and I'm on my way -but i'm on my own!
Sail Pass goes without incident, the fact I had loved this ascent on the recce day really helped me keep going, and I trot down in to Braithwaite excited about a CP - i'm disappointed, the marshals look equally dissapointed that I've burst in to their peace and quiet and they watch silently as I shuffle about getting myself some food, I slightly helplessly wave my water bottle at them as I ask if I can fill it, and if there is any possibility of a cup of tea. Still the general misery gets me out of there opting to take my tea with me as I head along the A66.
I note along here that my feet are really sore, especially my left foot (its always the left everything) I had manged to grow a patch of trench foot on UT55 I have a feeling its back. I keep up a run / walk along here I recced this with Gaynor in December and she declared people that walk it silly, so with that in my head I do my best, but i'm flagging and there's no one else around - thats making me find it tough to motivate myself. Just as I come out of the small path close to the Filling Station a mini pulls up - "how funny" I think, "thats just like Gaynors car", even stranger as the owner gets out peering over the road I think "how funny that person looks just like Gaynor" by some odd coincidence Gaynor on her way to work decided to drive along the A66 and managed to bump straight in to me. .. i'm glad she took a picture or I would never have believed it. We chat for a few minutes before she sends me off down the road, the boost I get from seeing people or receiving texts at this point is remarkable - turns out i'm quite a social runner, I don't need people to chat with but I really like the hustle and bustle of feeling part of something. I note that because of my position that's seriously lacking today!
Climbing up towards Latrigg car park I catch up with a few people, and stumble over a couple of runners taking a breakfast stop, my feet are really sore but these small social interactions give me enough motivation to enjoy the run round to Blencathra. I'm fairly sure at this point that I'm not going to make the Dalemain cut-off and would rather stop with friends, so decide that I will stop here at the CP I marshaled at last year with Dave Cummins and Sarah Lowe
... "Don't be ridiculous" yells Dave, wearing a pink tutu and shoving cake in my hand, "you've 45 minutes in hand here, sort yourself out"
I poke my foot, its worse than I had imagined so I stick a variety of padding, tape and plasters on the bottom unsure of what might improve things, and head out with another runner. "I only like flat really" he declares ... "right, this ones quite hilly you know" I respond! Still his love of flat does me a favor because the next bit is flat and we chat and run most of the railway line.
I reach the hated and dreaded Coach Road, the sun is blasting down ... and ... i'm running and I love it (sorry everyone else). For the first time in ever a teeny thought comes in to my head - I CAN DO THIS. I make a deal with myself if I get to Dalemain before 2:30pm I'm going to go for it - nothing will stop me - my foot screams in agony - shut up foot I declare!
Around an hour later I'm in tears, I'm lost, I'm exhausted and of course I can't finish the L100 - I'm somewhere on Gowbarrow and even my ham and pickle sarni isn't helping anymore, I try a salt liquorish, a beef hoola hoop, I sit down, I stand up and re-read the instructions while I walk in a circle.
"turn right by ruin" - check
"go in to wood" - check
Here in is the problem, there are no foot prints on the path in to the wood - surely if 300 runners had passed this way I would be able to see it.
I weigh up my lifelines ...
50/50 - I could keep going it might be right. I wander forwards tentatively - the wood looks menacing.
Ask the audience - i've not seen another runner since Aira Force (in my head hours ago - hours and hours I later declare - in the cold light of the week after, probably about 20 minutes)
Phone a friend - I hit Sue on speed dial.
"I am lost" I declare
"um ... okay, what can you see?"
"trees, I'm in a wood"
"Anything else" she asks reasonably while getting out the L100 map in Coniston.
"Nope"
"You know you should be in a wood?"
"Yes, it says so on my descriptions, but it's not this wood"
... signal goes, or Sue just smacks her head against a large wall with frustration at the idiocy of this conversation.
I tentatively go forwards ... Sue stops hitting her head against a wall and calls me back.
"are you still lost?"
"oh yes, I've just gone past the gorse bushes bit"
"so you're not lost"
"I am"
Signal goes again and I stumble over another runner looking equally confused.
"we are lost" I declare cheerfully "shall we go forwards" He shrugs and we go onwards until finally the route description seems to match again.
I have later checked the trace from my GPS and never put a toe off the route in this or any other section!
This faffing about had really put the boot in, and as I limp the next 5 miles to Dalemain I'm pretty sure i'm done ... I come round the corner to the check point to realise that my damed friends are determined to scupper all hopes of a peaceful DNF - i'm going to have to fight for it.
"Hello" say Gaynor, Kim, Beverly, Susan and Angela - seriously i'm knakered and I have to argue the toss with this lot.
"I got lost" I say experimentally - Thats not working I know the 50 route really well.
"I will time out" - I'm about an hour under the cut off here.
"ah my foot hurts" - "we can sort that says Gaynor" and I'm momentarily hopeful - her face as I present my foot says it all. I'm out, this isn't a blister or two this is whole scale rotting foot with chunks of skin peeling away.
I get the dibber taken off, and I watch the final snip as it falls in to the bag of broken dreams.
"Thank god" I shriek merrily "100 miles is not my distance - lets go for a pint"
... is it not though ... is it really not? I owe Liz massively I would never have had the nerve to enter the L100 without her prompting, and now I have a month to make a decision if with the extra knowledge I have from a DNF if I might, just might have another go.
Watch this space ;)
Watch this space ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment